Just when I thought I was a Betty Shredder, I discovered that I'm just a fragile old Spore (Stupid Person On Rental Equipment). And a sore old spore at that. Here's how it went down.

Lana and I met on Lewis Street in Pagosa Springs. Saturday, March 13 was Lana's turn to drive up to Wolf Creek Ski Area for our 2nd Ladies Snowboard Lesson. We got up there a little early and started the lesson at 9:30 am to avoid 40 other Newbies taking snowboard lessons at 10 am. Yeah, the Spring Breakers were here.

"The snow is harder and slicker today", Leslie warned us. I wondered how much people are supposed to tip snowboard instructors. What's the etiquette? We went directly to the Nova Chair and started practicing the one-footed, fly-swatting dismount. Well, at least that's how I think of it. But the first couple dismounts were fine and we practiced the heel side floating leaf. Leslie kept repeating, "Really, it's OK, you're doing fine!"

And just that fast, the rest of the Newbies arrived at the Nova Lift. Now, we had to ride double. Now, we had other Newbies, splayed out on the off ramp like Bolling Pins. At first, I dismounted the lift OK and we went on to practice flipping over, onto our bellies, getting up onto our knees, and then, up, onto our toe-side edge. We came down the hill practicing the toe edge floating leaf. The hardest part about this was looking downhill because you're back is to the fall-line, so you have to look, backwards, over your shoulder. Still, it was fun and I got the feel of my toe side edge.

So I was feeling hopeful, yeah, even confident, not quite yet a Betty, when I went Splat. It was the getting off the chair lift and trying not to hit another Newbe that caused the really hard fall. I had to focus on breathing, to keep from crying. After that my tail bone really hurt. Well, I thought it hurt until I had to sit down to click into my rear binding. Yikes! Who knew I had a funny bone in my butt? A sharp, stabbing pain shot up my spine and I was done for the day. I wonder if they prescribe medicinal marijuana for this? But then I'd have to see a Doctor, yuck. Oh well, I'll just have to use my usual pain-killer, vodka.

And so, I now need to decide if I should go to the 3rd Lesson, tomorrow, Sat Mar 20. I'm mostly OK, except when I sit on the floor and try to roll back, like do a rolley-polley, I still get a suck-in-your-breath, stabbing pain in the tail bone. I better take an injury time-out.

But I'm not giving up. Wolf Creek Ski Area closes on April 4, but will open again the next two weekends. I plan to use some time at the end of March and the beginning of April to try again to be an old lady Shredding Betty.